I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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