I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize