i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
