yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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