I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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