considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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