Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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