Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Randomize
