Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
