i just google imaged poop.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
