I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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