Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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