Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Randomize
