the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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