There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
