Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
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