If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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