hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
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