He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
