we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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