I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
