Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
