Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
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Do I have a choice?
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So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
