I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
