I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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