My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize