The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
