watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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