I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
