what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
she looked like the before picture.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
