**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
it's great music for shaving your balls
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
