Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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