The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
