That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
