Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
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