Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Vodka?
Forever.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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