i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Randomize
