if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
