this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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