i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
