just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
