spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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