when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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