Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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