im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
