Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
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