I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
