Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
