last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
