this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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