So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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