That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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