Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
