Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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