Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
