did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Sext me about skeletons
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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