She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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