I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize
