can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Randomize
