I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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