im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
