I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I smell like Dick and happiness
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
