Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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