it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
