Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
