I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
