So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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