I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
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look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
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Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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