I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
it hurts more in the daytime
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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