Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
